Hi, I am the world’s biggest people pleaser,
speaking to you, another contender for #1- I-like-to-make-everyone-happy.
How’s it going planning your wedding? Had much input these days on what you MUST DO? Mostly from your mom, his mom, your maid of honor, your venue manager, your coworker, your dentist and maybe a random coffee shop person who saw your big pink wedding binder?
Everyone has a great idea and opinion on what you should do for your wedding; but, it doesn't mean you need to listen. I know, you’re thinking it is rude and goes against your deepest selfless being to not consider these ideas. But don’t sacrifice your happiness and stress level to please everyone around you. Planning a wedding is sometimes hard, so, just smile, and let those ideas slip right out of your mind. Because honestly, if you constantly listen to what everyone says, you will drive yourself mad and dread the planning process. (And surprise! It’s supposed to be fun!)
Here are my tips to ensure you plan a wedding you love while keeping your sanity!
1. Make a list of priorities- What is most important to you and your fiancé? The ceremony location, honoring your family, good food, a destination wedding? Make a list and evaluate each of the items. Ask yourself what the pros and cons are; then, agree to base all of your decisions around these core wedding must-haves.
2. Be honest- You love your family, but at some point you need to put your foot down, gracefully and with an appreciative smile. Thank them for their idea and let them know you’ve decided together (you and your fiancé) to go another direction. End of story. I know you’re not selfish, so politely say thanks, but no thanks.
3. Keep them busy- If your mom or FMIL is harping you about one certain task or idea, why not distract them with another project? Maybe it sounds kind of mean, but I guarantee you, they just want to feel involved because they love you. So send her on a mission to make a banner for your cake table, find fun favors or plan your wedding shower.
4. Consider the Why- If your parents or his parents keep insisting on something, consider why. Why is this so important to them? Perhaps if you know their reasoning, you’re more likely to consider their idea.
As a people pleaser, I know you want to truly make everyone happy, and just because you chose not to include someone’s idea or take his or her input does not make you a diva. I always joke with my couples during their cake cutting demonstration, that this is their first official task as a married couple and “team”, but it truly starts long before that!
Sit down and have a chat, be honest and open with your loved ones, and I promise the journey will be more enjoyable!